As I Lay Sleeping
by samuraichikx
Summary: Liz wakes up in the hospital with no memory of her relationship with Jack. -gasp- Suspense!
1. Chapter 1

Liz awoke to the steady beeping of a heart monitor and incomprehensible murmuring, no it couldn't be a heart monitor, when did she check into the hospital? No, it had to be the smoke detector. Dammit, she must have left something on the stove while she passed out on the couch. That makes sense, the last thing she remembers was pulling an all-nighter after the writers had all called in "sick" after someone's bachelor party, she couldn't remember whose, and who really cares. That doesn't explain why her head hurts like hell, or why she can't remember anything. Did she go out too? This must be Tracy's doing.

She shifted a little, but wasn't able to open her eyes before a sharp pain consumed her and she winced in pain. She heard the smoke detector no, heart monitor? Speed up as she felt her heart begin to race from the pain. She felt a hand cover her right hand then heard in the distance:

"Oh, Mrs. Donaghy, you're awake"

Mrs. Donaghy? Was Colleen in the hospital? Oh, okay, that makes more sense. Something must have happened with Jack's mom and she accompanied him to Florida. She is one of his closest friends,anyway. She must have fallen asleep on a chair or something in the hospital room. She opened her eyes slowly, trying to adjust her eyes to the light. She saw two blurry outlines of people, one who seemed to be wearing a white labcoat and the other a suit. She blinked a few times as the image came into focus: a doctor standing to her left and a concerned looking Jack to her right, who was holding her hand.

She tried to speak but it ended up coming out as more of a squeak, apparently she hadn't talked in quite some time. She cleared her throat and tried again.

"I'm sorry what?" she whispered weakly.

"Well you've been out for quite some time," the doctor continued "Fairly normal after a traumatic accident".

"No what you said before that...what _accident?_ What accident?" she raised her voice, beginning to get nervous. She started to push herself up into a sitting position but was stopped both by the immense pain in her head and Jack easing her back onto the pillow, who was still holding her hand. She complied, looking at him nervously.

"Mrs. Donaghy? Well that's what your chart says here" the doctor said glancing at the chart in his hands. "You were in a car accident a couple of days ago, you have been out since then," she looked at him with shocked disbelief, her mouth agate. "Of course...you did have quite a concussion, this explains your amnesia."

"Married? I'm...Married?" she looked to the doctor, then back to Jack, who looked like his heart had just been ripped in half. "Since when? And to whom?"

She of course knew the answer to that last question, but felt it would greater reveal the sense of panic she felt right now. How can she be married and not know it? And to _Jack_? The same Jack who was one of her closest friends? The same Jack who was her ever-present, domineering boss. That Jack?

"A year last month" said Jack, who bit his lip as he said it. He blinked and looked the other way looking like he was trying to hold back...what tears? Jack, crying? Clearly something had happened and she had slipped into an alternative universe or something...right...._right?_

"I'm sorry, I think I would remember my own wedding. That would be a momentous occasion right Jack?" she joked half-heartedly, trying to hide her apprehension behind her sense of humor as always. He was constantly on her case about that stuff, he would get the joke. He didn't.

"Like I said you had a fair sized concussion, which is resulting in your amnesia. It should be gone in a couple weeks." the doctor said, putting the chart back on the edge of her bed. "Everything seems to be fine with your recovery. I'll leave you two alone to reconcile. I'll come back periodically to check up on you." the doctor hesitated, then "I'm Doctor Jacobs by the way. Dr. Spaceman is out on vacation"

Liz nodded apprehensively, absent-mindedly as the tried to figure this out. She heard Jacobs' footsteps going out the door and then the sound of the door closing as she put her face in her palms, not feeling the cold metal of her wedding ring, which should be the first sign that this is all a dream. If she were married she would have a wedding ring...right? No, they probably took it off for the MRI after her accident they're saying she had. Her head started throbbing massively, and she felt a massive urge to cry, or eat a nice meatball sub, food always helps calm her down.

"Liz..." she hears as she feels a comforting hand on her shoulder, instead of a broom handle.

"Jack, what's going on? Did this really happen? Or is this some cruel prank? Because I swear to god if the pranksmen are responsible for this I swear I'll kill-"

"Yes, it happened" he said more confidently now.

"How..?"

"It doesn't matter Liz, right now you just need to focus on resting"

"What? No, I feel fine. I mean, I have to get back to work at some point. I have a contract I-"

"No, you don't. You have to rest, you spend way too much time at work anyway" he said, looking worried.

"Jack, this isn't the time to be all mentor-y. Just tell me what happened. I can take it, I promise"

"I have never told a potentially traumatic story to anyone on Leo's pain medication and I'm not about to start now. I believe it's the same drug I was on when I thought I had gotten Nixon to appear on the show. Which, in retrospect may not have been the best idea even if it were true..." he looked away, biting his lower lip in thought. _Watergate..._ he seemed to have mouthed.

Come to think of it, her mouth _did _ taste a little bit like purple, but that wasn't the point. She was still massively confused. "How am I supposed to take this advice from the same man who said that his greatest regret in life was to never have worked more?" she snapped, but soon regretted it as her head began swimming. She felt a massive sense of vertigo, and moaned as the closed her eyes and leaned back, suddenly feeling very sleepy.

"I hate to say I told you so but..."

"Just...don't. Don't brag, it makes you seem _too _man-ish"

"There," He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Is no such thing" Which, both filled her with a strange, but familiar sense of warmth, but as if she hadn't felt it in quite some time.

Before she falls asleep she sees a look of relief on his face as he clutches her hand as if he never wants to let go.


	2. Chapter 2

The next few days at the hospital had been a combination of boredom, horrible food, and mixed visits from work. Despite what Jack had said, Liz's determination to get back to work was stronger than ever, having become increasingly bored with staring out the window. It had been even worse than when she had taken a week off of work for 'normal reasons' right after the cutbacks. Worse, even, because she wasn't doing massages and yoga five days a week, but that's not important. She still hadn't come to terms with the fact that she could remember everything but her year-long marriage with the man whom she had only ever had mixed feelings for, nothing more, nothing less...she thinks. She can't be having these thoughts right now, she needs to concentrate on eating this particularly nasty bowl of soup.

"How can they possible ruin soup? It's so simple to make!" Liz grumbled, barely noticing Jack coming through the door.

"That's why these people are doctors, Lemon. They never went to culinary school" he said, pulling off his coat and gloves and giving her a light kiss on the forehead. As far as Liz could remember it had been raining ever since she woke up, the cloudy weather reminiscent of her perspective on the last couple of days.

"Jack!...Jeeze! You're cold, and what is that supposed to mean, Jack. Do you not trust someone who went to med school to cook your meals?"

"Well no, but I'm sure that working their way through med school they ate their fair share of instant noodles. I know I did when I was at Princeton, and look at me now, I never cook my own meals. But they may as well learn, if Comrade Obama's so-called 'health care reform'" he emphasized with air quoations "Continues, they may end up having to give up a few...luxuries" he pulled up a chair next to Liz's bed and sat down.

"Wow, marriage hasn't changed you at all has it?" said Liz, a smile playing at her lips.

Jack shrugged, a smug look on his face. "You're the one who said yes."

"Well, I _can_ also fake enthusiasm when I need to-" she began

He held up his finger, silencing her."There's no need to recycle old jokes, Lemon. Green week is over"

"Fine, but it _was_ a good one. You're giving me all kinds of material with that jacket, just so you know" Liz said as she returned to glaring daggers at her soup, finally deciding to push it away. She looks at him and smiles " You're still using my maiden name. Am I missing something?"

He gives her a confused look, then understands "Well, after awhile it's just become a term of endearment. Such things aren't uncommon for couples"

Liz sat back against the pillow, silently mocking him. She pulled at the stray threads on her cupcake pajama sleeves, an awkward silence ensued.

"So, how are you feeling?" asked Jack. As Liz looked up she saw a small light of hope sparkling in his now very blue eyes.

"Better, a lot better. The bruising is going away, my head doesn't hurt as bad anymore, I think they're going to take the stitches out soon. So soon I can go home to my apart-" she caught Jack sucking in his lips and looking away. "I live with you don't I?"

Jack hesitated before saying, "Yes. You still own your own apartment. But we agreed to just sublet your apartment, make more money from the rent seeing as it's technically two. You know, Manhattan Real Estate....So you still don't remember any..."

She looked at him for a moment, seeing the hurt in his eyes. It still seemed like such a surreal thing, seeing her boss, the right-wing, alpha male-type man sitting in a position like this completely powerless. As much as she wanted to play along, just to see the old Jack, "....No" she said, shaking her head and dropping his gaze "I'm sorry".

He said nothing but bit his nail in quiet contemplation before snapping his fingers, an idea popping into his head.

"You know what, I know how to fix this. I'm going to call Spaceman and have him fix this. Modern science has to have found a cure for this, what else do those nerds to with our tax money?"

"Jack, I don't think-"

"It will work." He paused, took her hand in his and said, "Never underestimate the power of money"

Liz gave him a look, but was pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of familiar voices in the hallway.

"Is that Pete and Jenna?"

Jack listened for a minute, then shook his head "Probably just a loudmouth relative of another patient"

"Hello Dr.....Matthews. I'm just here, alone. I'm totally not doing anything tonight."

"Liz, we're here to visit Liz!"

In unison, they say "It's Jenna"

As if on cue, Pete dragged Jenna through the door to Liz's room

"But Pete that cute doctor was totally checking me out!" she turned to face Liz and Jack. She quickly changed her expression from frustration to joy as if it were nothing then compassionately said to Liz,

"Hey girlfriend, how are you doing? I've been worried sick about you for days. It was totally my idea to come here by the way. I had to beg Pete to come and see if you were okay." she said pointing an accusing finger at Pete, then ran over to give Liz a fairly constricting hug as if she were making up for something.

Pete who rolled his eyes and set a small box of donuts on the empty bed in the room, which Liz eyed hungrily.

"What Jenna is trying to say is:" he says, glaring at Jenna "We miss you Liz and we hope you can come back soon. The show's not the same without you"

Jenna finished hugging Liz, then stood at the edge of the bed eagerly like a child waiting to get candy, looking between Jack and the door every few seconds. After regaining her breath from Jenna's constricting hug, she rubbed her neck and looked at Pete quizzically "Tracy's acting out even more now that I'm gone isn't he?"

"You know it!" Pete said sarcastically, moving the box of donuts and sitting down.

"What is it this time?" Liz smiled, half enthusiastically-half exhaustedly, "Does he think Danny is upstaging him or that 'The Blue Man' is after him again?"

"No he thinks that if he's too good at his job Kanye West will try to steal his Emmy" said Pete

"Oh, that's a new one"

"So is it true that you've completely lost your memory?" asked Jenna, who sat at the foot of the bed. "You can't remember the last year of your life? Oh, it's like that Drew Barrymore movie! Only you're not a blond"

Liz gave her a confused look for a moment before answering, " Well, I can remember everything that's happened to me in the past year, except for...." she looked over to Jack, who was still holding her hand, looking between her and Jenna "My relationship with Jack, and ever being married to him"

Jenna gasped "Oh my god! That's so romantic! They could make a movie about you, and I could star in it. I'd have to dye my hair of course, but that can easily be fixed. Pete why don't we head out of here and give these two lovebirds some time alone together. They probably need time to...make out...up! Of course I said up, I wouldn't want to watch you two make out or anything. You just need time alone and I could go outside and talk to that doctor- "

"Jenna, for the last time, he's married!" said Pete, frustratingly.

Jenna disregarded him, merely saying "Just a technicality. I have an advantage...my sexuality"

Pete, Liz and Jack simultaneously slapped their palms to their foreheads and sighed in unison. Just then, as if on cue to answer Jenna's prayers, Dr. Jacobs walked in greeting them.

"Hello everyone, I wonder if I could speak to Mrs. Donaghy alone for a minute?"

Jenna was gone before anyone could say anything, Pete said a quick "Sure" before heading out the door to chase after Jenna. Jack squeezed Liz's hand and exited the room silently.

"Mrs. Donaghy, how are you feeling?"

"Fine, and call me Liz, please." sighed Liz, still not able to fully comprehend her situation.

"Okay...Liz. I have some bad news and some good news.."

"Oh god," Liz groaned "Don't tell me I'm pregnant too. I mean, not that that's bad news I mean. I just feel like I'm in a completely different universe where something like that....would...happen. I'll stop talking now"

Jacobs gave her a concerned look, then resumed speaking.

"Yes, well. I'm afraid is has to do with your memory loss. Now, the good news is that because your condition is so much better, we can probably get you out of here by tomorrow. " He hesitated, while Liz waited for the rest of the good news, there was none.

"Okay, great! So...what's the bad news?"

"Well, first you must understand that the human mind is complex. It's completely devoid of punctuation marks, coherant sentence structures, and correct usages of grammar."

Liz gave him a confused look. He continued, addressing her look.

"Have you ever read a Faulkner novel, Liz? As I Lay Dying ? The Bear?" she continued to look at him, confused. "My mother is a fish?"

Liz acknowledged him, vaguely remembering a novel she had read in college of which she had no idea what was going on. My mother is a fish, she though, that would make a good sketch about Aqua man.

Jacobs continued, "I'm afraid we still aren't aware of the reason why your memory loss is local to only your relationship with your husband. But due to the degree of your concussion, it's unlikely that those memories will restore themselves soon, if at all....I'm sorry"

Liz started at him, mouth slightly agate, crestfallen. Her head began to hurt again as she lay her head back on the pillow, desperately wanting to eat the box of donuts in her own bed, alone, and try to figure this out.

She what she always did when she was completely lost: she called out to Jack.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

As promised, the next day Dr. Jacobs had discharged Liz from the hospital. It was a melancholy feeling, for though she was technically recovered a part of her seemed lost forever deep in the recesses of her subconsciousness.

Jack was there as soon as he could with a bag for her clothes, and having brought her a set that Liz desperately hoped weren't too skimpy. This all seemed too far fetched, too surreal. She didn't want another part of herself lost to amnesia.

Thankfully, Jack brought her a pair of jeans, a maroon tank top, and her TGS hoodie. Her ring, however was left in her jeans packet, not having the courage to yet put it on.

As she was wheeled out of the hospital (Which she assumed was some sort of hospital custom. Not that she watched too much _House_, which would be helpful. House could probably figure out what was the matter with her, but not before popping some Vicodin and performing several biopsies she didn't need. Where was she? Yes, well...anyway...) She felt like an invalid. Which, not only was awkward for her, but a complete bruise to her independence. Liz felt as if she had suddenly come out with multiple personality disorder, leaving an entire life behind to embark on another.

Jack helped her out of the wheelchair, took her hand and gave her a reassuring smile. She felt a sudden rush of hope, the cold metal ring she felt on her skin a vague reminder that it shouldn't. He lifted it and gave her hand a light kiss, hesitating before moving to her cheek.

He lingered, there outside the hospital entrance, blue eyes gleaming with a sort of agonized affection. It was the look she was so used to seeing, but she had never noticed how strongly he showed his affection for her. The look he gave her was sad, if not entirely tragic, as if searching for a hope they both knew never existed.

They say that eyes are windows into a person's soul, and it was no less true here. She could see it all, a lust, a long lost love that she knew had been a part of once though nevermore. His eyes seemed to ask the question for him, the yearning desire to set things right betraying his calm demeanor. And she answered him.

"No....I'm sorry." It was too painful to look at him, so she looked away.

She was saved when Jonathan came out of Jack's car, the seething jealousy in his eyes calming her, reminding her that some things were still right in the world. He eagerly set to work at carrying her bag to the car while she stared off in the distance still holding onto Jack's hand. Jack led her home, his hand never leaving hers either.

***

Half an hour later, she arrived at Jack's (Well, _their_ place she guessed she had to call it now. Jack led her in, but not before stopping her at the door.

"Now Liz...Lemon I mean." He let out a small sigh, closed his eyes ever so briefly as if it was painful for him to say. "This will most likely be strange to you."

She felt almost bad for him, here he was desperately trying to not make things weird for her, setting off his ever-present cool.

"Jack, you don't have to pretend that everything is okay. This is no time to be Irish."

He smirked, humoring her by smiling at her lame albeit brave little joke. He continued, "But I'm still going to be here to hold your hand, I always will I..." He refrained from using the phrase 'I Love You' and although painful she could understand why. She wasn't the woman he was in love with, she was a mere shell of her former self, whoever that may have been. She didn't quite have the emotional capacity right now to sympathize with him, so instead she hid behind her sense of humor.

"Want food?" she grinned widely and held up her hand for a high five.

"Don't be cute, Lemon"

"Fine" she faux-pouted and walked inside.

What she thought was going to surprise her actually didn't. His..._their_ place looked exactly the same as she remembered it. She walked around as Jack carried her bag into the bedroom.

The hallway led into a gigantic library full of books and a CD case full of what she saw were almost entirely Michael Bublé albums. She smiled as she saw a row of _Star Wars_ movies, trying to imagine Jack's reaction to _Return Of The Jedi_ after she probably forced him to watch it. Other doorways leading this way and that, a kitchen full of high end appliances that almost looked like they had never been used. Nothing else seemed out of the ordinary, so much so that she began to believe her 'getting punked' theory all over again. That's when she saw them.

There they sat, on top of the armoir she had overlooked on her way in: their wedding pictures. Most of them appeared to be in sequential order, some food-related. Her and Jack at the altar, putting each other's rings on, and their ensuing kiss afterward. Several photos of them taking the first dance, a brilliant smile on her face as she and Jack danced, her arms wrapped around his neck.

"Jeeze Jack, narcissistic much?" she joked, desperately trying to break the awkward silence in the room.

"It's a wedding, Lemon. What couple wouldn't want to show off?" she heard his voice call back in the distance.

She shrugged, "I suppose" she squinted, realizing, "Is that my ham napkin?"

He came up behind her, putting a hand on her shoulder, starting her before she relaxed into his touch.

"You...insisted." she looked up at him, giving him an amused smile as he continued with his story.

" I had offered to buy you a brand new dress, one without food stains on it, but you insisted on wearing it." he hesitated, smiling at the memory " Something about not wanting to ' be a rich little gold digger only after her fiancé's money'."

She opened her mouth in a silent laugh. "Yeah, that sounds like me." She picked up another frame, faux-mocking him. "You never learned not to come between a woman and her food, did you?" She held it up to him, displaying a sequence of photos of them cutting the wedding cake, to having the first bite, to him trying to eat off of her plate, to her squishing some cake against his mouth with a victorious smile in an angry albeit playful gesture.

He laughed, taking the picture in the other hand while she held the other side, hand still at her waist. "No, I suppose I didn't. It was, however one of the greatest nights of my life."

She looked up at him as he looked down at her, standing there in silence just looking at each other. In another world, in a romantic comedy this would be the part where the two main characters forget any and all past misgivings about their relationship and just kiss. But today was no such story, because there are no fairytale endings, there never are. The ultimate power in the universe is one hell of a tragedy author. He would give Sophocles a run for his money.

Jack cleared his throat, taking his hand away from her waist and walks toward the kitchen. "Dinner, Lemon?"

"Definately! We could totally go pick up some sandwiches down from this place in midtown-"

He comes out of the kitchen carrying a bag from _Plunder_, displaying the 'all-knowing' Donaghy smile he frequently possesed.

"Actually Lemon, I'm fairly exhausted, so I thought we could stay in tonight. I had Jonathan pick something up from Plunder so we can just stay in for the night, maybe watch a movie and eat some magnificent food."

"How did you- No, you know what. I'm not going to ask." she snatched the bag from his hands and quickly walked into the kitchen. "Well done Donaghy!" she yelled victoriously as she looked at the spread of food that lay before her, taking the food out and piling it onto the nearest plate she could find.

He followed suit, scrounging whatever food he could before it inevitably ended up on her plate. He was merciful though, well-knowing how bad hospital food must have been for an entire week.

They popped in Episode IV of Star Wars: A New Hope as they relaxed on Jack's couch. She very well knew that this wasn't the way Jack wanted to spend his first evening back with his wife. If it was up to him, they would probably be doing very naughty...things. She realized that he was spending his night inside watching an old Sci Fi movie with her just to ease her back into her comfort zone.

Liz looked up and smiled at him from her side of the couch in a silent 'thank you', scooching closer to him as she put her cleaned plate on the table. He put his arm around her shoulders, welcoming her to come closer. She did, though not entirely, clearly still too uncomfortable with this. Though as the movie continued playing she felt her eyelids becoming heavier as her warm, satisfied stomach urged her into sleep. It wasn't long before she was off in her dreamland, dreaming about a world not entirely like her own.

_She was standing outside 30 Rock in her TGS hoodie trying to hail a cab in the pouring rain. Finally, Jack's car came around the corner, signaling Jack now coming out of the studio entrance. _

"_Can I give you a ride, Lemon?" he asked, shielding his face from the rain. _

"_No, thanks. I don't want to crowd you." Just as she said that, however, a bolt of lightning struck somewhere in the distance, followed by a rolling boom of thunder._

"_Are you sure?" he smirked_

"_Alright fine, but only because I don't want to get sick waiting anymore"_

She woke up with a start, panicking as she felt a constricting sheet around her before she realized they were merely comforters. She was laying in the master bed, thankfully still dressed in her clothes. She ripped the covers off and made a beeline for the living room. There she found their empty plates of food, the now switched off TV, and the sleeping form of Jack on the couch.

She felt a twang of pity for him, here he was still looking out for the best friend he had ever known and she was too amnesia-ed to do anything about it. She sighed, "Blerg"

Still too emotionally drained to think about this predicament for much longer, she walked back into the master bedroom, plopping back down on the bed and pulling the covers back over her. Instead of continuing her previous dream, she dreamt about food, a magical land of endless sandwiches and dipping sauce. Even in her dreams, she still stress-ate.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This particular series has been pushed to the back of my priority list for quite awhile now. I guess it was part of my 'not being able to finish anything' stint that up until recently has been consuming most of what I do. But, damn it, I need to finish this now. So, enjoy the update =) And please, be brutal.**

Despite Jack's insistence that she stay home until she's feeling better, Liz decides to go into work the next week. There, at least, she could think without the constant reminder of the life she apparently used to have. It was quiet in an entirely noisy way, where she could find solace in occupying her mind with every distraction her idiot staff came up with. There, she felt at peace amidst the chaos. Best of all, it was one of the few things that made sense anymore, that she knew how to deal with.

Walking into the writers' room first thing on Monday morning brought anything but the expected. The minute she walked through the doors the humble chit-chat had completely stopped, and she was met with concerned stares by everyone, including Cerie. Liz stopped dead in her tracks, giving the writers a confused look.

"What? What are you giving me that look for?"

There was a brief pause before Toofer was the only one brave enough to speak up, "We heard you were in the hospital for a few days and-"

Frank butted in, "They say you can't remember anything...how far back does that go? Did you think you woke up in like 1992? We thought you were going to come in with some lame Bill Clinton joke or something."

Liz gave them a look "No, nothing's changed. I'm still your same old boss who never gets invited to staff parties." The writers looked away trying to look nonchalant. "The only thing I don't remember is that I've been married to Jack for the last year..." They all looked away, seemingly uncomfortable with the subject "Great, you don't care? I don't care either. So, I want a packet of ideas from each of you by tomorrow morning." Liz turned to go into her office, smiling at the ensuing groans and the 'she's back' from her staff. At least something was right in the world.

Several hours, one topical meeting, and one badly written paragraph later, Liz still couldn't manage to get any work done. She still couldn't stop thinking about the past couple of days, and how none of it made any sense whatsoever. Giving up on the mostly blank word document in front of her on her laptop, she leaned back in her chair. Liz pulled her wedding ring out of her jeans pocket and glared at it as if it was the culprit of the week's past headaches...literally.

Liz examined the ring, as if trying to discern any mystical meaning to it. It was your average wedding ring, a gold band that was neither cheap nor extravagent. It wasn't like other rings she saw women wear, plagued by diamonds on every inch of it. Neither was it made of some cheap material in plated in gold. It was simple, but elegant, very Liz with a hint of Jack. Liz sighed, this was pointless. Trying to over-analyze a ring wasn't going to solve her problems.

It was at this point she would most likely go to Jack to solve her problems, but this problem _concerned _Jack, it wasn't going to be any help to look into his eyes...his beautiful blue eyes..no, stop it. He was a friend, but she had apparently married him, why?

Before she was able to delve into this question any father, Jenna came barging in through her office door with a child-like smile on her face. She closed the door behind her and leaned against it with an expecting smile covering her expression. "So?"

Liz quickly put the ring away in one of her drawers and leaned on her elbows trying to look nonchalant. Jenna didn't seem to care, eagerly running up to the desk and sitting down in the chair. "How was it?"

Liz gave her a confused look, "How was what?"

"The reunion sex! Liz, come on, lovers reconnecting after a near-tragic accident is _so_ romantic. Tell me everything, how did it start? Did he carry you in the apartment bridal style? Oh! I can tell this is going to be great!"

Liz sighed, " No, Jenna, stop. Nothing happened, we didn't do..anything. We ate and then I fell asleep on him." Liz said, garnering a rather suspicious look from Jenna, "Watching a movie Jenna, God!"Jenna's face fell like a child's as if it has been told Santa doesn't exist.

"I dunno it was just really weird. He took me home and it was like walking into some freaky alternate dimension, it was like the twilight zone-"

"Liz, stop. It's not going to make a very good screenplay if you mention something no one's ever heard of." Liz gives her a weird look, but Jenna continues. "I can already see this becoming a master piece, me playing as my best friend-"

"Liz Lemon!" Tracy barged in with his entourage, minus Kenneth, behind him. Liz felt a strange mix of relief and panic at seeing him. Comfortable with the norm but at the same time scared of what was to come. "I knew it was only a matter of time before you showed up. You're straight up the only one around here who understands my needs."

Liz shot him and Jenna a confused look, but before she could open her mouth to protest, he continued.

"Look, I need to use the sound booth for a couple of days. I'm gonna show Kanye who's _really_ the voice of this generation. I need to do it fast, before he steals my Emmy."

"Tracy," Liz sighed, "The Emmy's aren't until next year. It's October. And why would you think Kanye is going to steal your Emmy? Technically isn't that the Grammys?"

"That's why I need to get a head start, Liz Lemon. So my album drops, I win a Grammy for best new album _and_ it gets picked to be the soundtrack for _Entourage_. So, are you in?"

"What? No! Get out, both of you, get out. I need to get back to work."

"That is cold, Liz Lemon. Like Leonardo Dicaprio at the end of Titanic. That is cold!" said Tracy as he backed out of her office.

Liz shooed them both out, but before she could get back to her desk Jenna popped her head back inside, "Alright but just so you know, if you need any advice for well, you know...I'm here for you girl."

"Jenna, get out!"

"Alright, fine."

Liz felt an all-too-familiar headache coming on again. So, instead of returning to her desk she collapsed on her couch, and within a matter of seconds was fast asleep. This time, though, she dreamed not of food, but a continuation of the dream she had the previous night.

_Liz did her best to run to his car without slipping and falling on the wet ground. Jack was already holding the door open for her as she clumsily climbed in. Once inside, she hugged herself desperately trying to keep warm, but her clothes were already too wet. She sat there trembling for a few seconds before Jack reached over to give her a nice, warm towel. Four years ago she would have sat there staring at the thing wondering why Jack Donaghy has a warm towel holder in the back of his car, but after knowing him for so long it just seemed like the norm at this point._

"_Where the hell did all of this rain come?" Liz chattered, the car's heater still not doing her justice. Instead, giving her previously freezing toes shock treatment. _

"_Well The Pentagon is funding a major project that can immediately change the weather in a large area." Liz gave him a strange look "But I hardly think that this is their test run, New York would have too many legal liabilities."_

"_Yeah...I was gonna say..." Liz deadpans. In this weather, the chaotic New York traffic seemed only worsened by the storm, Liz heard several cars skidding on the wet street as well as several car horns to accompany the dangerous driving conditions. _

"_Would you like a drink?" asked Jack as if it was completely normal to have a fully functioning bar in your Town Car. "I have the Pinot Grigio you always drink in my office."_

"_You have a bar in this thing? I don't suppose you have a guy hiding in the trunk ready to mix up a cocktail do you?"_

"_Not this car, it's too small."_

_Of course, Liz thinks. "No, thanks. I'm good."_

"_Suit yourself." Jack pours himself a small glass of scotch. That, coupled with the long waits at several red lights they were hitting were causing Liz to rethink her decision. _

"_You know what? What the heck, pour me a glass. This is going to be a long ride home."_

Liz awoke to the bright sunlight penetrating her window, indicating she had been out for a couple of hours but not all day. Her door was closed, muffling the low murmurs that were on the other side of the door. What surprised her was that she had awoken to her couch's blanket tucked around her. She ripped it off, determined now to get back to work, no more sleeping. Returning to her desk, she found a wrapped package laying on her desk in front of her chair. Upon further inspection, Liz discovered that it was a meatball sub with extra bread from her favorite shop.

_Must've been Pete_, she thought. But why wouldn't he wake her up for one of their meetings, or, my God, Dress Rehearsal? _I should probably ask him what I missed_.

Liz rubbed the sleep from her eyes, trying to think. She had never had a recurring, well technically speaking, continuous dream ever before. It wasn't even something that special. No muffin king, no Hot Dog man, it was just...life...her and Jack. It really wasn't out of the ordinary nor spectacular. She needed to talk to someone about this, not just the sandwich on her desk. But,again, she couldn't talk to Jack about this because this involved him, which left her options very limited. She opened the door to the writers' room to find it mostly empty, everyone most likely on lunch break.

Liz walked over to Pete's office, whose attention span was too enveloped in whatever was currently playing on his laptop while cheese from the pizza slice he was eating stuck to his face. She cleared her throat, causing him to jolt and quickly slam his computer shut.

"Oh, it's you." he looked relieved.

"What were you watching?" she asked, but just before he was about to answer she held her hand up. "You know what, I don't want to know. You're probably _very_ busy. I'll leave you to your Pete-time. Oh, by the way. Thanks for the sandwich and uh...covering me in that blanket.

Pete just stared at her, now confused more than ever. "Why would I give you a sandwich?"

Liz matched his confusion, "Well it was just sitting there on my desk. Who else would-"

Pete shrugged it off as nothing saying,"Jack was up here about twenty minutes ago. He went in your office for your usual lunch break, then came back out threatening anybody who woke you up." She saw him flex his hands out of fear reflex.

Liz laughs nervously, "Me and Jack? Come on we're just good-" She stops mid-sentence, remembering the Topsy-turvy world she had been thrust into only this past week. She turned to leave, as Pete returned to his gentlemens' lunch.

Now she was just getting annoyed. Where she was massively confused everyone else seemed to act like it was nothing. It _was_ something. She just couldn't wrap her mind around it. Even Jack had admitted it would never happen, she was too sloppy, too frumpy. Where other women spent their money on makeup and expensive dresses she spent on food and humidifiers. Jack dated supermodels and actresses, _married_ people like Bianca.

Okay so, sure, maybe it hadn't worked out. Maybe he had admitted it was a carousel of super-hot women he couldn't care less about. Maybe he did do nice things for her like give her a $54 steak or leave sandwiches on her desk. He trusted her enough to confide in her when he had relationship problems. He was the only one who she trusted enough to talk to when she had a pregnancy scare. Maybe she loved how they would periodically sit in his office or her apartment and share a glass of wine talking about that days events. Maybe he did look adorable when he chuckled or smiled. Maybe she was attracted to the way his hair spiked in the front or the smell of his cologne and the way she felt protected whenever he hugged her.

Before she knew it she found herself in her desk chair, absentmindedly staring at the wall. She was resting her chin on her arm biting her thumb nail. She opened the top drawer on her right, taking out the small gold band that for the past few days had been causing her much confusion. Maybe they were the only and best friends either of them had ever had.

Liz snapped out of her thoughts, abruptly standing up, clenching the ring in her fist. She walked out of her office with confidence. She knew now what she had to do...no...wanted. For once she was allowing her now pounding heart to do her thinking for her instead of her brain.


	5. Chapter 5

**Fandom: 30 rock  
Pairing: Jack/Liz  
Spoilers: None  
Rating: PG-13  
Disclaimer: 30 Rock characters are the the intellectual property of Tina Fey, I own nothing other than the twisted idea of fiction that this has become**

**A/N: Much apologies for the delay, but let's get down to brass text. First of all, I would like to thank all of you who have reviewed and asked me to continue this series. I had almost given up hope seeing as how this isn't very popular on Livejournal. But, you guys who have reviewed have inspired me to continue writing. It's comments like those that are like crack to a writer , we can't get enough of them. I have to say, this has come out to be one of my most twisted and enjoyable fics. It's so strange to write but so satisfying to the messed up psychopath living inside my brain. That being said, I hope you like it!**

Liz knew what she had to do, knew what she wanted. She walked out of her office and headed for the elevator. By the time she got there she felt a strange mix of confidence, anxiousness, and hunger. She really should have eaten the sandwich that had been left on her desk, but even Liz Lemon knew that there was a time when she didn't have to think about food, and this was one of them.

Okay, that was a lie, but Liz knew that if she surrendered herself to a sandwich bearing such a magnitude of deliciousness, she would never come out of that office. This was something that she could not afford to think about any longer, she had to do this, now.

Still, even with her initial surge of romantic confidence, her brain was still finding ways to cause her nervousness. For one, she had never told anyone that she loved them. In the movies, it is always saved for a special moment, either when the characters are about to part ways or before a passionate kiss in a rainstorm that always seems to follow an angsty scene between two lovestruck characters who seem to think they'll never be able to make it work. This wasn't a romance novel anyway, it was real life, things didn't work. Oh God, it's not going to work.

Liz finds herself in the middle of a panic attack whilst staring at the hallway of the 52nd floor. Her hand immediately goes back for the 6th floor button before her thoughts are interrupted by a voice.

"Lemon? You look like you've seen a ghost. Are you alright?" asks Jack in a concerned voice, his hand gravitating toward her shoulder.

Liz snaps out of it, mumbling her first few words before she can get a coherent sentence out, "Yeah. Well, I...um...I need to talk to you, Jack. In your office?"

"Okay," He turns around and leads her back to his office, placing his hand in his usual place on her lower back. It wasn't much, but it occurred to Liz at that point how much these little things that he does mean so much to her.

His hand remains on her lower back as he leads her to the couch. Instead of sitting down he first approaches his stock of drinks.

"Would you like something to drink, Lemon?" he asked cordially, his hand already going for the white wine.

"No, thanks. I'm good. I want to be sober when I do this. Oh God, I mean...talking. Not anything like sex. Not that it's something I'm sure I enjoyed- er, enjoy at this point"

"Liz," Jack said, sternly but compassionately. As he turned around he held a scotch glass in one hand and a wine glass in the other. He walked over to the coffee table where she was sitting, setting the wine glass down. "It's there in case you change your mind."

"Now," he said, sitting down. "Tell me what's on your mind." Liz opened her mouth to speak, but before she could say anything Jack began to speak again. "Oh, Liz before you say anything, I have good news for you." Jacks eyes sparkled as he smiled, apparently excited about something.

"I spoke with Spaceman regarding your..." he waved his hand at her trying to indicate something "...memory problem. He says that there is this new drug out that has the possibility of obtaining lost memories from your subconscious. Now it hasn't been tested on humans yet, but I think I can cover the cost of liability."

"No, Jack, stop. I don't want-"

"Lemon, please. Don't let your liberal guilt prevent you from receiving decent health care. Leo is an excellent physician, and any drug that he's tested, whether it be on monkeys or the homeless, is guaranteed to work. Albeit some strange side effects." Jack bit his lip in concentration, staring at the nearest wall in sudden thought.

"No, I...Haven't we already had this conversation?" Liz stopped herself, realizing that they had gone on a tangent, preventing her from doing what she had come up here to do "Anyway, that's not what I came up here to talk to you about something. About us" She emphasized the point by pointing back and forth between them.

"I see." Jack says. Jack rose from the couch and walked toward the window, leaning against the sill and looking out at the city. Almost immediately an unsettling quiet set over the room. Seeing him this shaken up was still foreign to her, still too surreal. But then again, this entire world she had been thrust into seemed surreal. It was now or never.

"I don't want to take any memory meds. It's not just because I don't trust Spaceman. Okay, that's mostly why I don't want to. But there's another reason."

"I knew this was going to happen." Jack sighed, still facing away from her. "Lemon if you have no intention of continuing this relationship I..." he turned around "I understand. It's business." Liz shot him a confused look, "-things end and people have to move on."

Liz let out an exasperated laugh. It still amused her that she was surprised that he would compare personal relationships to business ones, but that is who he is and that's what he does.

"I mean, I want to stay with you." Seeing the immediate look of relief on his face relaxed her, and gave her the confidence she needed to continue. Liz stood from the couch, pulling the ring from her pocket and walked toward Jack slowly. His blue eyes were following her every move.

"You've been my best friend for four years. You were there for me when no one else was. You've always been my sounding board, ready to give advice at a moment's notice. You understand my stress-eating habits despite...mocking my taste in food. You annoy me to no end but I still keep coming back."

Jack looked down at her and gave her a small smile, his eyes beginning to get a misty hue to them. He let Liz continue.

"Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, there exists memories of how and when I fell in love with you. Right now, I'm just beginning to understand the why, but I want to experience first hand the how and when. I don't want to be cheated. Plus, let's face it Donaghy, you need me. We both need each other." she managed a small smile and punched him lightly on the arm."

Jack remained silent for a moment, face stoic. As more time passed, Liz began to get more and more nervous. Is this what it was like for a guy waiting for a girl to say yes? If that were the case, was she the guy in this scenario? Great, now she's even more masculine than the most alpha-dog male she knows.

Her thoughts were abruptly interrupted when Jack reached inside her front pocket to the wedding ring she had, up until this point, chose not to put on.

"In that case, there remains only one question." He held the ring between his thumb and forefinger, looking into her eyes affectionately. "Will you marry me?"

"Yes," she answered almost immediately. It wasn't like her, and frankly she was shocked at even her own fast response. She could feel her heart pounding hard, and her smile widen as she felt the cold metal slide over her finger, fitting perfectly. As Jack leaned in to kiss her she placed her hands on his shoulder, sliding them around the back of his neck, pulling him closer. The kiss was tentative at first, slight, as if both had something to fear.

They separated for a brief moment, Liz holding back, thinking. How had he known where the ring was? Yeah, he had borderline mind-reading powers, but how had he known specifically where it was, and so swiftly taken it? They kissed again, this time more passionate as she opened her mouth over his. It seemed almost as if she could feel an electricity going through her body. She'd had her suspicions about the chemistry that had been present between them since day one. She had always suspected that they had been the type of people whose passions collide so perfectly it was borderline magic. But this...this was different.

They separated again, and everything seemed to move in slow motion. Liz briefly glanced at their drinks sitting on the table, realizing something. "Wait a minute, this isn't what happened."

The background, Jack's office, everything dissolved as if it were a mere dream. She found herself back in Jack's town car, each of their drinks in their respective hands, smiling as they were toasting the other. Outside, she heard a car skidding, next the sickening crash of metal against metal mixed with the shattering of glass. She felt disoriented, not knowing which way was up and which way was down. She felt as if she was flying into a great white abyss, only to be interrupted by something...someone crashing against her lips. Only, it wasn't a kiss. She gasped, feeling her lungs fill with oxygen.

She wasn't in Jack's office, she wasn't anywhere near 30 Rock, in fact, she didn't know where she was. There wasn't much she could discern through half-lidded eyes and raindrops pelted her face. She could hear a familiar voice and a blurry, bloody, but familiar outline of someone close to her.

"Lemon! Lemon! Can you hear me? Blink once if you can hear me."

Liz wearily but successfully blinked her eyes one time.

"Oh thank God, she's alive. Lemon, listen to me-" She felt the brief vertigo of being lifted onto something.

"Everything's going to be okay."

She then saw what she could make out of the blurry interior of an ambulance. For the moment all she could hear was the scuffling of shoes on the ambulance's floor, the shutting of doors, the beeping of various medical instruments, and the ambient sound of a siren. Then, the brief echo before she completely blacked out.

"Everything's going to be okay..._everything's going to be okay..."_

TBC

**P.S. Please don't kill me for leaving you with another cliffhanger. As much as I hate it when fics do it to me, it's so much more fun as a writer.**


	6. Chapter 6

Fandom: 30 Rock

Pairing: Implied Jack/Liz

Spoilers: Up through Season 3...I guess

Rating: PG-13

A/N: Hey! I made the deadline! It wasn't a complete month before I posted another one =D. I have to say, I think my recent obsession with hospital scenes has to be because of the fact that I've been watching house obsessively for the past couple of weeks. Anyhoozle! I'm going to try and make part 7 the finale, so keep reading! We're almost there!

"The patient's heart rate is skyrocketing, her vitals may crash."

"Now while it is true that the patient and I have a rocky history, I am appalled that you would insinuate I tried to kill her because she once tried to trap me in a burning building."

"Dr. Spaceman!"

"That's my name!"

"The patient?"

"Oh, well, give her some sedative, that aught to calm her down from whatever sex nightmare she may be having."

"There, on the monitor, something's different. She's reacting to outside stimuli, showing an awareness of her surroundings."

"Is that good?"

"Leo, she's waking up."

"I always find that a nice cup of coffee helps me wake up in the morning, takes away the droopiness in your eyes."

"Ms. Lemon, try not to move, just lie still and take a few breaths."

Liz tried to breath normally, but the searing pain exploding from every nerve in her body barely allowed her to breath much at all. It hurt to move, it hurt to breathe, she couldn't stay awake like this, she was in too much pain.

"It's not working, heartrate is still climbing, she can barely get air into her lumbs give it to her now before she crashes!"

"Now that's not very appropriate for the workplace…"

"The sedative, Spaceman?"

"Oh, right"

The last thing Liz heard was a muffled murmur of the two voices before slipping back into a painless slumber.

"_I get you. New York: third-way feminist, college-educated. Single-and-pretending-to-be -happy-about-it, over-scheduled, undersexed. You buy a magazine that says 'healthy body image' on the cover and every two years you take up knitting for…a week?"_

"_You know what I like about you? Your eyes. You have those black...sharks' eyes...very intense."_

"39-year-old female. Severe concussion, lacerations from the broken glass fragments, several fractured ribs, and a fractured left arm. Unconscious at the scene until resuscitated by..."

"_I know we've had some missteps, but we've put all that behind us, and I'd like us to be... friendly."_

"_Work is the only thing I'm good at, Lemon you and I have that in common."_

"...trauma-induced coma. Patient shows brainwave activity but we're unsure whether or not she'll reawaken."

"_Life is about minimizing regrets. You never know when someone's going to slip into a coma, leaving all the things you didn't say...or get in writing from the company's lawyers...What I'm trying to say is, you're...young, and you still haven't blown it completely so don't...start..now."_

"-wouldn't be alive if not for..."

"_Lemon, I honestly don't know what I would do without you."_

It felt like Liz was trapped in a perpetual dream. She had no idea which what was real, what was a dream, or another figment of her imagination. The only thing she knew for sure was that the pain she felt was much more real than it had been. In fact, she doesn't remember if she felt any the last time...which means...

"Liz, honey? Can you wake up? Your friend and I are getting worried."

Hesitant at first, Liz wearily opened one eye, allowing it to adjust to the light before slowly opening the other one. Without even looking at her body, she could tell it was a complete mess. Aside from the throbbing pain coming from well...everywhere, she could visibly see much of her body covered in bandages, as well as her left arm cast in a sling. Everything she remembered from before had been the same, the sounds, the ever-present glow of the fluorescent lights were all the same, with some minor details. Looking around the room as best she could, she spotted a hospital chair laden with gifts, mostly food, and what she could only assume were get-well cards from...her staff? To her right, an exhausted-looking and tear-stricken Jenna. To her left, her mother softly holding her bandaged hand with one hand and holding her father's hand with the other and looking down at her with a soft-spoken expression. The one thing that she was surprised to find disappointed her...no Jack.

"There we go, good job. Our Liz, always doing her best."

"How are you doing, girlfriend?"

The somber mood in the room was beginning to make her uncomfortable, so she tried to break the ice by cracking a joke. The first time trying to speak, however, Liz wasn't surprised to find her voice almost completely hoarse.

"Man, I just had the weirdest dream. That's the last time I eat chocolate before I go to bed."

Her mother managed to humor her with a small smile, but then allowed her to continue.

"Anyway, how long have I been out?" Liz asked casually, trying to reassure them that she was okay.

Margaret Lemon bit her lit hesitantly, perhaps thinking that she should release this knowledge to her previously comatose, perhaps traumatized daughter. Then, perhaps figuring that since their absence at her football game had been revealed, everything else was free game. She was, after all, an adult.

"About a week,"

"_What?_"

"Jenna called us shortly after you were admitted, she wanted to make sure you were taken care of in case she had to leave for the show, and because your first emergency contact was out of commission himself."

"Jack? What do you mean? Where is he?"

"Mr. Donaghy was the one that the EMTs found performing CPR on you at the scene of the crash despite his condition." answered a female doctor as she walked into Liz's room (presumably the one arguing with Spaceman when Liz first woke up) "From what I understand he refused to be taken care of until he was assured that you were okay. I'm Dr. Payne, by the way"

"Is he okay?" Liz asked, feeling the tremor in her already quiet voice.

"Well we were worried that he stressed his heart too much during the accident. Because of his medical history we had to be sure that he hadn't stressed the organ too much to prevent another heart attack, and at worst, total heart failure. Mr. Donaghy has been in the ICU until just recently, until they allowed him to return to a room of his own. You gave him quite a scare Ms. Lemon."

Liz looked away and stared at the opposite wall, still digesting everything that had happened in the last...she couldn't even tell the time that had passed. She wasn't even going to try and analyze why she had dreamed of a handsome male doctor who made references to William Faulkner books when in fact her doctor was a woman. Even with her previous comatose-hospital experience, she still couldn't help but feel winded, and confused. She knew this time, though, that this was real...unfortunately.

"So, what was it like?" asked Jenna "The coma, I mean. Like, what did you see? I mean, I've been in comas before, but always on stage acting not, a real one."

"It was..." Liz struggled to find the right words to describe it "Well, normal. Everything was the same, the show, my friends, life. Except for one thing: I was married to Jack."

Jenna quirked her eyebrows, now curious "You were married to Jack in your coma-dream?"

Liz scrunched up her face, still struggling how to explain it, "Yeah, but the thing was, I couldn't actually remember anything from our relationship up to that point, including the actual wedding. I did have my ham napkin though."

Jenna smiled for the first time since Liz regained consciousness "I always knew there was something between you two."

Liz continued to stare at the wall, deep in thought. She was in no mood to joke around, especially since she could still so vividly remember what she had felt for Jack right before everything dissolved. It all felt so real: the emotions, the sensations. At first she had been against the idea that falling in love with your boss, even mentor, was impossible especially Jack. It wasn't a typical romance, it even seemed a little...weird given the circumstances. This...he wasn't what she had in mind when it came to a boyfriend, even husband, despite what her subconscious was trying to tell her. They were on exact opposite sides of a feud, so to speak, nothing in the books said that anything they ever had would be able to work. But then, when had the conventional ideas of love ever worked out for her. Where had they gotten her? 39-years-old and still single, married to her job, lonely in practically every sense of the word. Yet, with Jack, the friendship that they had forged between them had become something that the both of them had been looking for in the wrong place: a companion that will stay by your side through even your worst times, someone that understands you through and through, someone that can look past your flaws and still love you. They had what everyone searches for, and they nearly threw it away for some crappy conventional idea of romance.

"You know," chimed in her Mother, "I've always thought that dreams are our way of telling us what we really want deep inside.

Without even thinking, Liz asked "Where is he?"

With some help, Liz gradually worked to push herself out of bed. Having her left arm incapacitated only added to her list of worries. On top of the throbbing pain coming from her ribcage, her bandage-lined legs could barely support her weight. Her adrenaline was too high, her eagerness too palpable.

"Now, normally we wouldn't allow this, but given the circumstances and because you're his emergency contact we can allow you to stay for a little bit. If you need any help just let me know, I'll be nearby."

Dr. Payne gave Liz a reassuring smile, but Liz didn't see it. After Dr. Payne left, she stood alone in the doorway of his room, her eyes were glued to the still form of Jack, whose only movements were the slow rising and falling of his chest.

Using her IV as support, Liz slowly limped her way toward his bed. He was, surprisingly, in very good shape. He virtually had no injuries, save for a few small cuts here and there, all covered by bandages.

Liz sighed absentmindedly then, "What have you gotten yourself into Jack?"

What was both strange and amusing to her at the same time was seeing him out of his element, out of his business persona. She was most used to seeing him in his suit and tie, his hair done perfectly, clothes virtually wrinkle-less and just looking...professional. Sure she had seen him in the hospital before, but even then, his hair was perfect. Now, it was messy, with some strands of hair sticking up at odd angles all over the place. It was cute, really. Liz briefly imagined what it would be like, to wake up next to him and see this disheveled hair, his deep blue eyes and trademark smile as the first thing she saw in the morning.

Liz reached out her good hand, lightly touching his forehead. Then, Liz realized that she had never actually touched his hair. Not that something was some kind of strange, unfulfilled fantasy. It wasn't something that had kept her up all night. It was something that, up until now, hadn't really crossed her mind at all. On the other hand, she wasn't going to be the first to deny that he had a great head of hair, because he did, both when he was 25 and now. Based on his track record, many women had had the luxury of touching it...and many other things she was sure. In fact, she wasn't even sure she was the type of woman who had Jack-hair-touching privileges, but who was here to stop her now?

She slowly ran her fingers through some of his soft hair. Then, without even thinking, she leaned down and kissed him lightly on the lips. In vain, it seemed almost, she waited for any sign of movement other than the hypnotic rise-and-fall of his chest. The only sounds in the room came from the heart monitor, his light breathing, and now her rapidly increasing heart rate: nothing.

Liz told herself that she had to leave because people might ask questions as to why someone would spend so much time in the room of an unconscious patient. Or, that the pain from her injuries was finally getting to her. Liz slowly made her way to the door then, with help from Dr. Payne, slowly made her way back to her room.

What she didn't see, was a hazy pair of dark blue eyes following her every move until she disappeared from sight.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Fandom: 30 Rock

Pairing: Jack/Liz

Spoilers: Season 4, but before Nancy and Avery and babies and anger, and the previous installments of this series

Rating: PG

Author's Note: This is something I wanted to have done before the end of September...but uh...Yay, College! Happy Holidays nerds =) And thank you to those of you who had faith in me until the very end, even if it took me over a year to finish this damn thing.

After a couple of more weeks of rest at the hospital, Liz comes home, somehow surprised that her trip home wasn't as interesting as her imagination made it. Her mother stays for a few days after that, but as soon as Liz is able to walk to the front door for pizza without help, she sends her home.

Liz tells herself that the true reason is that she doesn't want her mother staying up here for very long, that she has her own stuff to do. Though truthfully, all she wants to do is sit on the couch in her Slanket and eat night cheese. Which, with a cast, turns out to be much more difficult than Liz originally thought it would be. It's during one of these nights, while attempting to pull on her Slanket when she hears a knock on the door. She curses, her first attempts at tearing the thing off now more unsuccessful than her attempts to put it on. Giving up, she leaves it with the one half still attached to her cast arm hanging limply off of her side. Liz then slowly opens the door with her good hand to find a familiar friend leaning on the doorframe.

Jacks looks relatively well, save for the bags under his eyes and a few faint scars. The only thing out of the ordinary are his eyes: a dull hue of the usual bright blue giving her a look of such sadness. He says nothing, standing there and staring at her, almost as if he's trying to gauge whether or not she is real. There is a long pause before Jack finally says something.

Noticing her Slanket hanging limply off of her right side, " Night cheese, I presume?"

Liz nods trying a smile "Yeah, of course. Just having a rockin' Saturday night," Liz looks away, uncertain what she was supposed to say next.

"May I uh...come in?"

Liz nods again, stepping aside to clear the pathway for him. As she does so she awkwardly tries to pick up the slanket, somehow successfully ripping it off. She sloppily folds it up, throwing it on the couch as she makes her way to the kitchen.

"Drink?" she asks, already knowing the answer to this question.

"Yes, thank you," he says, leaning with one hand against the couch, staring out the window.

Liz takes her bottle of Pinot Grigio out of the refrigerator, kicking the door closed, both of her hands either immobile or preoccupied. Setting it on the counter, she attems to uncork it with only her left hand. Meanwhile Jack absentmindedly walks toward the window.

"Your mother called me earlier today," Liz let out a muffled grunt of recognitioni and frustration

"... just before she left," He turned, "she asked me to make sure you were taken care of."

"Yeah well..." Liz grunted with frustration, still unsuccessfully trying to uncork the bottle. "She's my mother Jack, that's what they do," Liz answers with a half-hearted smile as he nears her in the kitchen.

Jack approaches her, extending a hand "Do you need some help, Lemon?"

She turns, avoiding his hand "Nope, I'm good. I've got this."

"Are you sure?" he smirks

Liz places the bottle between her legs.

"Good God. Lemon, this would be much easier for you if your feminist pride hadn't have gotten in the way."

Liz finally succeeds in yanking the cork out, "Ahah!..." though not before allowing some of the wine to be spilt over her legs. "Aw, nerds." She picks the bottle up as quickly as she can and pours him a glass, sliding her glasses back up the bridge of her nose nonchalantly.

"Just because this thing is in a cast" Liz retorts, pointing to he arm "Doesn't mean I have to accept your...wine...uncorking...charity. I can take care of myself."

He remains silent, taking a sip from the glass.

"So, is that the only reason you're here? Because my mother told you to? You don't have some benefit tonight, some hot lady friend to go out with? Cos like I said, I can take care of myself."

Jack shakes his head slowly, placing the glass back down on the counter. He's giving her that look again , and it's beginning to get annoying let alone creepy.

"Okay, seriously, what's with that look?"

There is a brief pause, and right before she is about to say something, "I'm so sorry, Lemon."

Liz pauses, completely taken aback, then "You're sorry? For what? I mean, don't get me wrong I can think of plenty of things, but...what?"

"I'm sorry," Jack's voice cracks, then he looks away, closing his eyes and inhaling sharply, "I'm sorry," he repeats, clearer. " For everything. If it wasn't for me you wouldn't be in this condition-"

"Okay wait. How the hell is this 'your' fault in any way-"

"I'm having a moment, Lemon" Jack retorts.

Liz becomes silent, holding up her hands apologetically.

"That shouldn't have happened to you," he continues, "It's just...not logical. It doesn't follow a logical path, something like this should never...", he moves his hands in a wild fashion while he speaks, desperately trying to articulate what was going through his mind, though unsuccessfully.

As his voice fades away, she can see how difficult this is for him. Both, after knowing him for as many years as she has, and because of the way he is struggling to make sense of this. It was a skewed 'survivors guilt'. Why should she have to suffer from broken ribs, broken arm, and fall into a coma they were never quite sure she would come out of, and he only walk away with a few scratches?

"Jack..." Liz whispers. She didn't know what else to say, other than the obvious "Jack, it's not your fault. But for what it's worth...I forgive you." It wasn't much, and frankly sounded arbitrary, but she felt like it was the only thing she was able to say.

She felt his shoulder relax a little bit. He also took his hand away from his face, but his eyes were still closed. He leaned against the counter with both hands, as if he was still trying to think of something to say.

"Jack, if you still want to talk, I'm here... Just come out and say it."

"I love you."

She froze, "_What?_" Liz took her hand off of his shoulder. Outside, she appeared shocked. Inside, however, a small part of her jumped for joy. The small set of emotions she had buried deep inside of her when she had finally woken up, never thinking that she would need them again.

Jack turned to face her, "After... the accident, I tried my best to resucitate you, but after you were taken away, I never thought I would see you again. It got me thinking, I didn't know if I would ever have to talk about your...less than admirable personal life, more endless meetings about television. I would lose my mentee..."

Liz clenched her jaw in mild frustration, looking away as she readjusted her glasses. She was less enthused about this proclamation of love than she imagined it would turn out. Not that she had ever imagined it.

"...my best friend..."

Okay, she was listening.

"I might have lost the woman who has done nothing but helped me for almost four years. A woman who dare I say has been my...'bff'."

"Gross"

"Not that kind, Lemon..." he continues, "And as much as I must admit at first I wanted to deny it-"

Liz scowls again.

"I seem to have found myself...in love with you."

Liz remains silent, still in shock just a little bit, and frankly starting to feel less convinced than she was before..

"Now I know that...given my previous assertions about the subject, this comes off as, in your words...'weird' he airquotes. I have accepted the possibility that you would reject my...affection.

It was a strange sensation, seeing Jack vulnerable and straightforward like this. What Liz was feeling was a strange combination of hating him, but had the strongest urge to kiss him. But, having known him for so long, she realized how hard it was for him to talk about emotions at all, and given the circumstances, made it even more difficult for something like this. She, of course, wasn't going to let him get away with that so easily.

Liz steps forward, closing the remaining distance between their bodies.

"Now I know that...given my previous assertions about the subject, this comes off as, in your words...'weird' he airquotes. I have accepted the possibility that you would reject my...affection."

"Well. Just so you know. I'm just not the type of woman you can woo that easily. You know that, right?"

Jack nods his head a small smile forming on his face. He tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear, cupping her face. He leans in, lightly kissing her, pulling away slightly as she desperately tries to come up with an excuse.

"Cos I'm not that kind of girl, the type that sleeps with her boss,"

Jack kisses her again, cupping the other side of her face.

"I'm...I'm not thinking straight, I'm on a bunch of painkillers.."

He kisses her again, this time feeling her kiss him back.

"...But you're my boss...and you're... weird."

He kisses her again.

"I'm...out of excuses." She stares into his eyes, allowing herself a small smile.

"Thank God, " He rasps, pulling her in for another kiss, this time both of them participating fully.

He pulls her closer gently in an embrace, mindful of her injuries. He normally doesn't approve of hugging in general, but with Liz in his arms, at this very moment it just feels so right. Everything feels so right.

"I don't want to think about losing you again, Lemon. That was...unsettling. Besides, the show needs you. I daresay none of your employees could accomplish what you do."

She smiles, enjoying his matter-of-fact way of approaching this subject. She doesn't answer, but instead uses her good hand to pull him down into another kiss.

Later, they are in Liz's bedroom. Liz's head is resting on Jack's shoulder and her cast-arm on his chest as he leans against the backboard. His right arm hugging her closer, absently stroking her back. He allows her to watch The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, far more concerned about whether or not she was comfortable than about the left-wing political satire.

Between commercial breaks, she asks him if he is comfortable still in his dress shirt and pants.

"Cos, you know . I'm sure you could find something in my closet. Not one of mine, but I think I have some boxers or big shirts or something."

"Thank you, Lemon. But I have no intention of wearing something previously owned and worn by Dennis Duffy."

"Okay," She rests her hand on his shoulder again, then quickly looks back up at him, " Are you sure you sure?"

He sighs, "If you're that concerned, I can arrange to have something brought over here."

"Nah, you don't have to." She tells herself it's because she doesn't want his assistant to have to endure the cold fall weather. Even though, come to think of ut, would be a great 'In Your Face' moment. Even though she really just doesn't want him to move from this spot, because he's warm, and she's really comfortable, and it's just...really nice.

During the commercial break before the end of The Daily Show, Jack asks her, "This...dream of yours..."

Liz looks up at him, slightly adjusting the angle she is leaning on his shoulder, smiling, "Who told you?"

"Your mother." A pause, then "We were married."

"Uh huh,"

"Did we have children?"

"No, just a few pictures from our wedding. A lot of them food related."

She can see him smile, the trademark Jack smile where his eyes close slightly, "Of course...Of course. Uh...we didn't, um..."

"No. Oh God no."

His response is the complete opposite of what she would have expected, given her reaction.

"Well good. I wouldn't have wanted my actual performance in bed to be hindered by your... limited imagination."

Liz rolls her eyes, patting his chest. "No worries, Donaghy"

They sit in a comfortable silence for the remainder of the two shows, Liz letting out the occasional, cautious laugh at one of Stephen Colbert's quips. Jack watched her carefully, making sure she wasn't causing herself pain by doing so.

Nearing midnight, he makes a joke regarding Colbert's interview style, garnering no response from Liz. Looking back at her, he sees that her eyes are closed, and she is breathing softly. Moving as little as he can bear, he manages to reach for the remote and turn the tv off. Then, he gently takes her glasses off, placing them on the nightstand, then switching off the light.

He tells himself it would be inefficient to have to move from his sitting position to laying down. Not at all because he doesn't want to wake her.

He kisses her forehead, "Good Night, Lemon." and holds her close to him, never wanting to let go.

_Fin Fin Fin!_


End file.
